11-04-2010, 03:15 PM
(11-04-2010 09:33 AM)sheep wrecked Wrote: [ -> ](11-03-2010 10:02 PM)resolute Wrote: [ -> ]resolute
I was one of those people who sought after tongues. I was prayed over, had hands laid on me, tongues prayed over me, but nothing happened. So besides pleading my heart out to God for them, and because I was taught to sort of "practice" - finally after 3 months, BINGO! So I became a tongue babbler for about 7 years.
The hype and the desire for tongues was many fold - it was the "gateway" for other spiritual gifts and experiences, so one is taught that without it, you do not have the Holy Spirit and can do nothing for God that is worth much unless you speak in tongues. You cannot operate in the gifts and your prayers are inhibited by your lack of spirituality. Certainly, what I experienced may not be to the depth of others, but I sought after any teaching I could find on it and bent the knee to every last vestige of it. The "threat", therefore; is palatable to the point of a strange mix of absolute fear and desire. The fear should have warned me, but I was unprepared and did not have a good foundation in the Word.
What I find so interesting in what you describe is that not only did the onset of tongues get my heart beating faster, but the anticipation of going to church to see and experience other manifestations of the "spirit" also caused that reaction. There definitely was a level of fear. Fear that I would not personally experience all that "God had for me". Again, that should have been a warning, because God's grace and blessings are not dependent on me, but on Him.
During the "performances" of these meetings, I often experienced "goose bumps" and a racing heart, which I instantly related to something "spiritual". So thank you for pointing out that what I was actually experiencing was revulsion. I also experienced periods of a mild shaking/tremoring in which either my legs would "quiver" or my eyes would jump/shake in their sockets [I know it's creepy]. Of course I believed at the time that I was actually being "rewarded" for my "faith" and it was the "spirit" "on" me, so I never recognized that it was demonic, not God.
I am always amazed at how God has continued to solve the equations during that part of my life [now long gone since 2002] and so you have provided another piece to that the puzzle. Thank you
Thank you for sharing. The thing that really jumped out at me from your post was what you called 'racing of the heart'. I've experienced this many times and it's not something that should not be ignored. Sometimes the enemy has a way of downplaying things and it makes you question the validity of your experience... but a jacked heart rate is a very reliable warning signal to fall back on... like I said, the body knows.
resolute