I feel so blessed to have found this forum! I really am in need of some advice right now. I've made the decision to get out of the HRM for good. But my husband still believes in it very strongly. I have no desire to go to the congregation we've been attending for the last 9 months anymore. Should I just refuse to go with him? I feel like I'm being an unsubmissive wife! Then there's the whole issue of the Friday night "Shabbat dinner" and the festivals etc. This is very hard for me but I feel like I must take a stand for the truth somehow. I think we have been brainwashed in a way. I'd rather not go to church at all than to go back to that church! I'd be very grateful for any feedback.
(05-14-2009 01:52 AM)live4Him Wrote: [ -> ]I feel so blessed to have found this forum! I really am in need of some advice right now. I've made the decision to get out of the HRM for good. But my husband still believes in it very strongly. I have no desire to go to the congregation we've been attending for the last 9 months anymore. Should I just refuse to go with him? I feel like I'm being an unsubmissive wife! Then there's the whole issue of the Friday night "Shabbat dinner" and the festivals etc. This is very hard for me but I feel like I must take a stand for the truth somehow. I think we have been brainwashed in a way. I'd rather not go to church at all than to go back to that church! I'd be very grateful for any feedback.
Hi Peg!
I was sort of in the same predicament...except my husband wasn't saved and he wanted me to go to a Jewish synagogue instead of church. IOW, he wanted me to renounce my faith in Christ, but he didn't come right out and say it, but it was implied. As I remember (because it was over 32 years ago), I did refuse to go. I ended up divorcing this man.
I got Ephesians 5:22 jammed down my throat so many times that I wanted to cut that verse out of the Bible. I was IRRATE! However, if you read it in context, the "submission" doesn't mean you become a "doormat".
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
Husbands are also told to "Love their wives as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25) I would pray about it and if the Lord isn't leading you to go to the congregation, I would obey the Lord (remember "as unto the Lord" is part of Ephesians 5:22). Just don't simply "refuse to go"...tell your husband why...and that you believe the Lord is leading you not to go. Maybe that will open the door for you to share what you are learning about the HRM.
That's my
(05-14-2009 03:25 AM)LindaR Wrote: [ -> ] (05-14-2009 01:52 AM)live4Him Wrote: [ -> ]I feel so blessed to have found this forum! I really am in need of some advice right now. I've made the decision to get out of the HRM for good. But my husband still believes in it very strongly. I have no desire to go to the congregation we've been attending for the last 9 months anymore. Should I just refuse to go with him? I feel like I'm being an unsubmissive wife! Then there's the whole issue of the Friday night "Shabbat dinner" and the festivals etc. This is very hard for me but I feel like I must take a stand for the truth somehow. I think we have been brainwashed in a way. I'd rather not go to church at all than to go back to that church! I'd be very grateful for any feedback.
Hi Peg!
I was sort of in the same predicament...except my husband wasn't saved and he wanted me to go to a Jewish synagogue instead of church. IOW, he wanted me to renounce my faith in Christ, but he didn't come right out and say it, but it was implied. As I remember (because it was over 32 years ago), I did refuse to go. I ended up divorcing this man.
I got Ephesians 5:22 jammed down my throat so many times that I wanted to cut that verse out of the Bible. I was IRRATE! However, if you read it in context, the "submission" doesn't mean you become a "doormat".
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
Husbands are also told to "Love their wives as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25) I would pray about it and if the Lord isn't leading you to go to the congregation, I would obey the Lord (remember "as unto the Lord" is part of Ephesians 5:22). Just don't simply "refuse to go"...tell your husband why...and that you believe the Lord is leading you not to go. Maybe that will open the door for you to share what you are learning about the HRM.
That's my
Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for your words of advice! I will try to tell him why I don't want to go anymore. I'm not sure where to start at this point but I'll keep praying and trying to sort things out in my mind. I hope he will listen and we won't end up having to split up over this! That must have been really hard for you when you had to leave your husband.
(05-14-2009 09:53 AM)Vic Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Peg, 
I am sure this is most difficult for you. I agree with what Linda said, but will also say, I don't believe as Christians that we are allowed to disobey Christ and the Scriptures, in order to please someone else. You are learning the errors of HR. For you to continue in it, would be sin, once you understand why it is against Christ. Taking a stand is part of serving Christ, and it may cause division for a bit with your husband. Not that this is the ideal. But Jesus said it could and would happen between family, when it is about Him. It's always obedience to Christ first.
I was told once by a friend, that when a couple are married that they are there to help each spiritually. If one has understanding that the other does not, God can use the partner--ie the wife, to help the husband grow and gain understanding. And vice versa. That was a husband who told me that.
Since your husband has not seen the error as yet, I think, as God leads, you need to methodically present the factual and Scriptural reasons why you cannot go there anymore. And why you cannot do the HR legalism anymore.
I know that God will give you the words and the timing and the way to say it. But I do believe, what you say and what you do, will impact your husband. If he knew Christ and Christ has been opening your eyes, the seeds of doubt concerning HR are likely there with him. One of the issues can be the 'fun' of fellowship, but God can open our eyes in an instant, when we least expect it. And that will be our prayer, that your husband will have his eyes opened to the truth, and he will see the errors that you are seeing. And he will desire to turn from that to Christ, and will be given the understanding of why HR is a road to destruction and taking him away from Jesus Christ.
If you need to Peg, print out the information you want to address and read it with him. Being brainwashed is actually a good way to view what takes place in HR. The foundations of belief are systematically removed, one by one, until another gospel and another Jesus is accepted. It's not a good place to be in. 
Maybe at some point he will come on the board and even challenge us and present what he thinks, and we will have opportunity to deal with his objections.
You never know what God will do. But we do know He answers prayer, and never leaves or forsakes us.
Matthew 10:34-38 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. 35. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. 36. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Philippians 4:6-7 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Eph 6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
Romans 8:31-39 What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32. He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33. Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. 34. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. 35. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36. As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you so much, Vic! I just can't believe the Spirtual wisdom that is here on this forum! My mind sort of feels like "mush" right now and I have much to sort out. I think for my husband it's kind of a "losing face" issue,too. He's shared all the HR stuff with everyone we know and tried to get them to visit the place we've been going and all. He'd have to be willing to admit he's been wrong. I think that's really hard for men to do,more so than women maybe. I'm so used to being wrong that it doesn't bother me anymore! But you do feel pretty foolish for getting caught up in false doctrine.
(05-14-2009 11:04 AM)live4Him Wrote: [ -> ] (05-14-2009 03:25 AM)LindaR Wrote: [ -> ] (05-14-2009 01:52 AM)live4Him Wrote: [ -> ]I feel so blessed to have found this forum! I really am in need of some advice right now. I've made the decision to get out of the HRM for good. But my husband still believes in it very strongly. I have no desire to go to the congregation we've been attending for the last 9 months anymore. Should I just refuse to go with him? I feel like I'm being an unsubmissive wife! Then there's the whole issue of the Friday night "Shabbat dinner" and the festivals etc. This is very hard for me but I feel like I must take a stand for the truth somehow. I think we have been brainwashed in a way. I'd rather not go to church at all than to go back to that church! I'd be very grateful for any feedback.
Hi Peg!
I was sort of in the same predicament...except my husband wasn't saved and he wanted me to go to a Jewish synagogue instead of church. IOW, he wanted me to renounce my faith in Christ, but he didn't come right out and say it, but it was implied. As I remember (because it was over 32 years ago), I did refuse to go. I ended up divorcing this man.
I got Ephesians 5:22 jammed down my throat so many times that I wanted to cut that verse out of the Bible. I was IRRATE! However, if you read it in context, the "submission" doesn't mean you become a "doormat".
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
Husbands are also told to "Love their wives as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25) I would pray about it and if the Lord isn't leading you to go to the congregation, I would obey the Lord (remember "as unto the Lord" is part of Ephesians 5:22). Just don't simply "refuse to go"...tell your husband why...and that you believe the Lord is leading you not to go. Maybe that will open the door for you to share what you are learning about the HRM.
That's my
Hi Linda,
Thank you so much for your words of advice! I will try to tell him why I don't want to go anymore. I'm not sure where to start at this point but I'll keep praying and trying to sort things out in my mind. I hope he will listen and we won't end up having to split up over this! That must have been really hard for you when you had to leave your husband.
There were other reasons why I divorced my first husband...but I can definitely say this...my faith in Christ was definitely a big factor. In addition, he was in an adulterous affair with my best friend. He is still not saved and is dying of stage 4 lung cancer. He probably has less than a month to live. Now I pray for his salvation. Yes, it was a difficult divorce...probably because there were two children involved.
I will pray that God will guide you.
