SeekGod.ca Discussion Forum

Hi Vic,

You are absolutely right on all of those points. I feel totally helpless in this situation. I spoke with my wife a while ago about bringing the boys somewhere where they would have fellowhip with other kids their age. She said that would be fine as long as it was a Oness believing church. So here is where I'm at a loss. Do I take them against her will to a church where the truth is preached? There are several churches in the area, everything from Lutheran and Methodist, to Assembly of God and Baptist. I feel that our roles are reversed. I am not looking to be a power hungry dominating husband. I do feel I should be able to make certain decisions in our home and that she should accept them as long as I am not jeopordizing our spiritual well being. However, as I stated, she is fully immersed in the doctrine that she has been taught and will not budge from it. If I were to bring up these issues, it would be made to be my backsliding and my spiritual disobedience to God's Word as it has been before.
So, here I am at the crossroads waiting for God to give me direction on where to go next. Thank you for your input too. I do not take any of it badly. Thanks.

(09-02-2009 01:38 PM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Vic,

You are absolutely right on all of those points. I feel totally helpless in this situation. I spoke with my wife a while ago about bringing the boys somewhere where they would have fellowhip with other kids their age. She said that would be fine as long as it was a Oness believing church. So here is where I'm at a loss. Do I take them against her will to a church where the truth is preached?

Glad you are ok with it Mark. Ok here's where I see the issue. You are saying your wife will approve a church change to another of the same. But you know that the teachings are false. The question is--how do you honor God in all this?

If the goal is to just keep your wife happy by allowing her to determine the spiritual direction of your home and your children, then you are there. But if the goal is to teach your children the way they should go, (scripturally sound and serving Christ) and you know that oneness pentecostal is error---then what is your role as their father, before God?? Your wife has to make her choices as an adult. But as the dad and accountable to God for where you lead your family, the burden is on you isn't it Mark, to take the steps to ensure your children are exposed to sound doctrine?

The reality of our spiritual lives is > Christ first, then our spouse then our children...If that is out of order, it's not honoring God. It can't.

If we are required to teach our children the way they should go, isn't even this test of you being head of the home---not domineering or heavy handed--but being assured in your heart that God has called you to the headship of your home according to the Scriptures, and to give your boys an example of a godly man serving Christ, and making decisions that can affect their very spiritual future--isn't part of that taking the leadership role because you know that the spiritual direction your wife is going is the wrong way?

Isn't what God requires is that we remain true to Him and obedient to the Word, regardless of possible fallout because of that obedience?

Why is it ok for you to let your wife take your children into scriptural error, when you know it's wrong, and you have stopped going to that church because of knowing it's wrong? Why is it ok for you to give permission to have your boys taught error?

Because by not saying that the boys can't go there, you are giving permission and saying they are being taught truth. It's total contradiction. And not Scriptural Mark.

Quote:There are several churches in the area, everything from Lutheran and Methodist, to Assembly of God and Baptist. I feel that our roles are reversed. I am not looking to be a power hungry dominating husband. I do feel I should be able to make certain decisions in our home and that she should accept them as long as I am not jeopordizing our spiritual well being.

Mark, you already know that you are jeopordizing the spiritual well being of your boys if you allow them to go to the oneness church. If it was sound you would be going there. Wouldn't you?

You need to forget about the "I am not looking to be a power hungry dominating husband". It's not about that. You need to stand first for Christ and then make the decisions based on scriptural soundness about what it is we are to do for our children and also the requirement of what is needed for sound doctrine. You can't be double minded. You have allowed it to give the appearance that it must be a power struggle between you and your wife --when it's a spiritual battle about Truth. You need to disarm the power struggle.

Quote:However, as I stated, she is fully immersed in the doctrine that she has been taught and will not budge from it. If I were to bring up these issues, it would be made to be my backsliding and my spiritual disobedience to God's Word as it has been before.

Mark, since you already know the arguments--you have a great advantage of disarming them--Scripturally. Whether those truths are accepted or rejected isn't on your head. What is--is standing for Christ and Scriptural truth--and fighting for the spiritual needs of your boys. In the end, it doesn't matter what someone says or accuses you of--if you are being Biblically obedient and serving Christ...then the issue is...standing firm. No matter what. What your wife chooses is her spiritual choice. But what you choose for you and your boys is the choice you must make, with the invitation for your wife to join you, if she is of a mind.

Quote:So, here I am at the crossroads waiting for God to give me direction on where to go next. Thank you for your input too. I do not take any of it badly. Thanks.

I think the answers are before you Mark. In the Scriptures and in your relationship with Christ. Being obedient to Him first and in all things. And being the man of God He has called you to be, as an example to your wife and your boys of living for Christ according to the Scriptures. How can they know how serious you are about living Christ, if in these most important issues, you step back?

Tit 2:1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

Tit 2:6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
Tit 2:7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
Tit 2:8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

1Ti 4:15 Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all.
1Ti 4:16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.

1Co 16:13 Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.
1Co 16:14 Let all your things be done with charity.

Eph 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
Eph 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Eph 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Eph 6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
Eph 6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
Eph 6:16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
Eph 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
Eph 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

2Th 2:16 Now our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God, even our Father, which hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace,
2Th 2:17 Comfort your hearts, and stablish you in every good word and work.

Vic,

You are right about everything and I guess I am just being weak. I do not want our marriage to suffer more than it already has. It is really fragile at this point anyway and any more about the issue of church is most likely going to break it. I understand all of your points and I appreciate your input a great deal. I just do not have it in me to step in and start making decisions that are going to cause such a mess in the family. I've been through it before and to be frank, I am tired of it. I don't want to go there again.
Thank you for the scriptures too.

(09-04-2009 12:48 PM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]Vic,

You are right about everything and I guess I am just being weak. I do not want our marriage to suffer more than it already has. It is really fragile at this point anyway and any more about the issue of church is most likely going to break it. I understand all of your points and I appreciate your input a great deal. I just do not have it in me to step in and start making decisions that are going to cause such a mess in the family. I've been through it before and to be frank, I am tired of it. I don't want to go there again.
Thank you for the scriptures too.

I understand Mark. More importantly, God knows the needs and the whole situation. Just always remember Mark. It's about your relationship with Christ. It doesn't matter what anyone else does or says to or about you. It's about your relationship and obedience to Him.