12-13-2009, 08:05 PM
Do you have certain sins that draw you to them though you may have repented of them?
That reawaken previous desires to do a sin?
That seem to be aimed at a particular weakness of yours?
Are these temptations the fiery darts of the wicked, who always looks for chinks in people's Armor? (Doesn't the word devil, diabolos, mean to throw through?)
My main sins are anger, unforgiveness, whoremongering (the desire to watch porn and sell my body), and occultism. I am angry and unforgiving most of the time and I have outbursts of wrath. Sometimes I get so mad at people that I hate them. I don't know how not to feel this way.
I am still tempted to get my Tarot cards read either by myself, online or with a psychic, but I have managed to avoid doing so with one slip in the last month or so. (I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and out of nowhere a street performer offered to read my cards. I politely told him no and gave him a buck and talked about the deck he was using.)
The past few months I have really wanted to sell my body, that or sell porn. Talking with people about it has kept me from doing it, which was why I posted on this forum about it--I needed somebody to give me a gentle "push" back on track, like I've had happen previously--and that turned out to be a big mistake.
I don't want to give in to temptations but it's really hard not to. I don't want to keep sinning, but I do. I ask God to forgive me and help me not to do what He forbids doing. How long is this going to go on? For the rest of my life? I don't want to live having to ask forgiveness ten times a day for calling somebody by an epithet (reviling), not forgiving (self-explanatory), drinking and popping prescription pills to unconsciousness (pharmakeia? I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to knock myself out), being angry with somebody out of class prejudice (murder), et cetera ad nauseam. Am I the boy who cried wolf? How much longer will God endure this? I don't want a habit to send me to hell.
That reawaken previous desires to do a sin?
That seem to be aimed at a particular weakness of yours?
Are these temptations the fiery darts of the wicked, who always looks for chinks in people's Armor? (Doesn't the word devil, diabolos, mean to throw through?)
My main sins are anger, unforgiveness, whoremongering (the desire to watch porn and sell my body), and occultism. I am angry and unforgiving most of the time and I have outbursts of wrath. Sometimes I get so mad at people that I hate them. I don't know how not to feel this way.
I am still tempted to get my Tarot cards read either by myself, online or with a psychic, but I have managed to avoid doing so with one slip in the last month or so. (I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and out of nowhere a street performer offered to read my cards. I politely told him no and gave him a buck and talked about the deck he was using.)
The past few months I have really wanted to sell my body, that or sell porn. Talking with people about it has kept me from doing it, which was why I posted on this forum about it--I needed somebody to give me a gentle "push" back on track, like I've had happen previously--and that turned out to be a big mistake.
I don't want to give in to temptations but it's really hard not to. I don't want to keep sinning, but I do. I ask God to forgive me and help me not to do what He forbids doing. How long is this going to go on? For the rest of my life? I don't want to live having to ask forgiveness ten times a day for calling somebody by an epithet (reviling), not forgiving (self-explanatory), drinking and popping prescription pills to unconsciousness (pharmakeia? I don't drink to get drunk, I drink to knock myself out), being angry with somebody out of class prejudice (murder), et cetera ad nauseam. Am I the boy who cried wolf? How much longer will God endure this? I don't want a habit to send me to hell.












But I also believe there are many action words for us in these and many other verses which means we must make a decision to sin or not sin and wield the Sword of the Spirit, and live it. Resist the devil and he will flee...because of Christ. 
