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RE: Raising Boys! - sheep wrecked - 08-03-2009 07:03 PM
Quote:sheep: I am having some difficulty with this. Are you saying that a wife must follow her husband no matter what he believes? Even if it is to spiritual destruction?
Quote:Well, if he believes in adultery and physical abuse. NO. God's Word makes provision for that.
In 1 Pet 3:1, God's Word makes provision also for the Husband that is not obeying the Word.
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Ok, let me pick your brain for a little more info. Are you saying that adultery and abuse are what the verse is speaking of in regard to obedience to the Word? Could there be other things besides these that could be considered disobedience? What if the husband is not "won by the conversation of the wife", and has no "fear of her chaste conversation" [behavior]? What if leaves her because of it, turns his back and divorces her?
I am also curious what your perception of adultery is. In other words, what you do consider adultery - does anything other than "cheating on your wife" count?
What about abuse - only physical?
Quote:I believe in "STANDING for your MARRIAGE". The Church divorce rates are now higher than the LOST. Why is that?
These links explain more of what I mean to STAND FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.
http://www.rejoiceministries.org/ <-- These guys are Wonderful!!
Could the higher divorce rates indicate a false gospel being preached? Could it be because society [the church at large is friends with the world] has put so much emphasis on self and self edification and if one is not getting it from their spouse, then move on. It's a "Me first, then maybe you" mentality place that we live in.
What if it's because there are not many godly men around any more? Jesus said that Moses granted divorce because of the men's hardness of hearts? Do you think that has changed?
Quote:128 pages of testimonies of people that were blessed by Rejoice Ministries and STOOD for their MARRIAGE and God brought healing and restoration. This is what the Church should be teaching today!
If you know of any Christian marriages in trouble, refer them to this link.
A quote from their other website: http://www.stopdivorce.org
With a skyrocketing divorce rate, and people advising abandoned and hurting spouses to, "Get on with your life," our goal is to introduce you to what God can do for a broken marriage, even when only one spouse takes a stand for marriage restoration, instead of being resigned to divorce.
The "vow" on that website [rejoice ministries] seemed a lot more self focused and pure force than anything. Not sure I can "go there"
Not much you can do when the husband leaves, files for divorce, and refuses to have a change of heart. I have to disagree that divorce is always against God's will. Paul said it was not:
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Quote:I don't agree with their stand on tithing. I always try to eat the chicken and spit out the bones.
As a good friend once said - sooner or later a bone is going to get caught in your throat
Let me ask you a question. Do you think the truth is contaminated by the lies?
1Co 5:6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?
We have an interesting thread on this topic:
http://www.seekgod.ca/forum/showthread.php?tid=96
RE: Raising Boys! - heb13-13 - 08-03-2009 11:00 PM
(08-03-2009 07:03 PM)sheep wrecked Wrote:Quote:sheep: I am having some difficulty with this. Are you saying that a wife must follow her husband no matter what he believes? Even if it is to spiritual destruction?
Quote:Well, if he believes in adultery and physical abuse. NO. God's Word makes provision for that.
In 1 Pet 3:1, God's Word makes provision also for the Husband that is not obeying the Word.
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Ok, let me pick your brain for a little more info. Are you saying that adultery and abuse are what the verse is speaking of in regard to obedience to the Word? Could there be other things besides these that could be considered disobedience? What if the husband is not "won by the conversation of the wife", and has no "fear of her chaste conversation" [behavior]? What if leaves her because of it, turns his back and divorces her?
I am also curious what your perception of adultery is. In other words, what you do consider adultery - does anything other than "cheating on your wife" count?
What about abuse - only physical?
Quote:I believe in "STANDING for your MARRIAGE". The Church divorce rates are now higher than the LOST. Why is that?
These links explain more of what I mean to STAND FOR YOUR MARRIAGE.
http://www.rejoiceministries.org/ <-- These guys are Wonderful!!
Could the higher divorce rates indicate a false gospel being preached? Could it be because society [the church at large is friends with the world] has put so much emphasis on self and self edification and if one is not getting it from their spouse, then move on. It's a "Me first, then maybe you" mentality place that we live in.
What if it's because there are not many godly men around any more? Jesus said that Moses granted divorce because of the men's hardness of hearts? Do you think that has changed?
Quote:128 pages of testimonies of people that were blessed by Rejoice Ministries and STOOD for their MARRIAGE and God brought healing and restoration. This is what the Church should be teaching today!
If you know of any Christian marriages in trouble, refer them to this link.
A quote from their other website: http://www.stopdivorce.org
With a skyrocketing divorce rate, and people advising abandoned and hurting spouses to, "Get on with your life," our goal is to introduce you to what God can do for a broken marriage, even when only one spouse takes a stand for marriage restoration, instead of being resigned to divorce.
The "vow" on that website [rejoice ministries] seemed a lot more self focused and pure force than anything. Not sure I can "go there"
Not much you can do when the husband leaves, files for divorce, and refuses to have a change of heart. I have to disagree that divorce is always against God's will. Paul said it was not:
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
Quote:I don't agree with their stand on tithing. I always try to eat the chicken and spit out the bones.
As a good friend once said - sooner or later a bone is going to get caught in your throat
Let me ask you a question. Do you think the truth is contaminated by the lies?
1Co 5:6 Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?
We have an interesting thread on this topic:
http://www.seekgod.ca/forum/showthread.php?tid=96
Hi Sheep,
I'm not for vows, either.
They make many good points about "standing for your marriage" instead of just getting divorced because it is the easy thing to do.
When I read a anything, be it a book, newspaper or magazine, I can filter everything through the Word and hopefully, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I won't choke on a bone.
But if I was in a fellowship with real people, "leaven" takes on real, serious meaning. I visit web sites all the time and recognize truth. Not everything on a particular website I might agree with, but most importantly not everything I read, whether in a book, magazine or website would necessarily line up with scripture.
In a real fellowship with people, You cannot tolerate leaven. The Holy Spirit is right. A little leaven WILL leaven the whole lump.
I like how Rejoice Ministries emphasizes the cross and make it a point to tell people that they cannot change anyone, only themselves. They also stress forgiveness and renewing of the mind through the Word.
I will check out that thread when I get a chance.
RE: Raising Boys! - heb13-13 - 08-04-2009 12:02 AM
Sheep, I did see your other questions and will answer tomorrow.
Good night.
RE: Raising Boys! - Mark - 08-04-2009 12:17 PM
(08-03-2009 07:03 PM)sheep wrecked Wrote:Quote:sheep: I am having some difficulty with this. Are you saying that a wife must follow her husband no matter what he believes? Even if it is to spiritual destruction?
Hi,
If I may interject some of what I am experiencing in my marriage, maybe it will shed some light on this issue.
In a previous post, I stated that tithing was an issue in our home. We cannot afford for my wife to be giving the church 10% of her gross income. However, the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing). Are they right? If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? I know this has gotten off the topic of rasing boys and I apologize. I won't post anymore on this because it is a sensitive subject and I end up feeling more confused afterwards. Thanks though. I appreciate all of your posts. I'll try to get back to the raising boys later on.
RE: Raising Boys! - Vic - 08-04-2009 12:34 PM
(08-04-2009 12:17 PM)Mark Wrote:(08-03-2009 07:03 PM)sheep wrecked Wrote:Quote:sheep: I am having some difficulty with this. Are you saying that a wife must follow her husband no matter what he believes? Even if it is to spiritual destruction?
Hi,
If I may interject some of what I am experiencing in my marriage, maybe it will shed some light on this issue.
In a previous post, I stated that tithing was an issue in our home. We cannot afford for my wife to be giving the church 10% of her gross income. However, the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing). Are they right? If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? I know this has gotten off the topic of rasing boys and I apologize. I won't post anymore on this because it is a sensitive subject and I end up feeling more confused afterwards. Thanks though. I appreciate all of your posts. I'll try to get back to the raising boys later on.
Mark,
Don't worry about whether it's on topic ok. As admin, we can worry about that.We need to address the issues, and it is important that you gain understanding of these things and if we can help, then we should. 
RE: Raising Boys! - Mark - 08-04-2009 01:28 PM
RE: Raising Boys! - sheep wrecked - 08-04-2009 02:35 PM
(08-03-2009 11:00 PM)heb13-13 Wrote: Hi Sheep,
I'm not for vows, either.
They make many good points about "standing for your marriage" instead of just getting divorced because it is the easy thing to do.
I suppose for some it may appear to be an "easy route", but it typically rips people apart mentally and emotionally regardless if one is a "christian" or not. A believer who gets a divorce goes through extreme pain and suffering, grief and devastation. Only by the grace of God are the emotional repercussions and guilt replaced by peace, love, comfort and forgiveness. It is not the "unforgivable sin" that many in the church seem to believe. Consequences, yes, but there is forgiveness in Christ.
RE: Raising Boys! - heb13-13 - 08-04-2009 03:23 PM
Hi Mark,
This is a very volatile issue filled with a myriad of emotions and the histories of two people. No two stories are ever the same just as no two people are ever the same. Not to mention that many more people are involved, usually than just the husband and wife, and many times it becomes a tug-of-war with relatives or religious leaders taking sides.
Your situation is bad because the Pastor is siding with your wife and actually encouraging rebellion against your headship and he is doing it for money. If he was really interested in seeing the two of you in unity, he would forget his precious tithe. He is also doing it because he believes a lie. That there is no other true church but his.
People have so many reasons for divorcing and it has become quite epidemic in the "church". Many things cause the divorce but it does not mean that everything that causes it is legitimate. And too many times people jump straight to divorce when there are other measures that could be taken first.
There are tons of good info online regarding "Should a Christian Divorce or Not". It is certainly not something I am qualified to cover in a forum like this. But I will answer Sheep's questions directed to me.
Also, I found this, but I think you could find much more on the net. I thought this was a pretty good list for lame excuses.
Some popular reason for Divorce that I don't regard as Biblical:
I don't know who this person is but I agree with his list.
http://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-marriageinformationandadvice/bibleandchristiandivorce02-rejectunscripturalexcuses.php
Here is Part 1.
http://www.dougbrittonbooks.com/onlinebiblestudies-marriageinformationandadvice/bibleandchristiandivorce01-committoyourmarriage.php
Just looking around, I find so much on this. I would carefully and prayerfully consider the scriptures that are being presented and don't go by logic or human understanding or anything that appeals to the emotions.
Sheep's first question:
Ok, let me pick your brain for a little more info. Are you saying that adultery and abuse are what the verse is speaking of in regard to obedience to the Word? Could there be other things besides these that could be considered disobedience? What if the husband is not "won by the conversation of the wife", and has no "fear of her chaste conversation" [behavior]? What if leaves her because of it, turns his back and divorces her?
I am also curious what your perception of adultery is. In other words, what you do consider adultery - does anything other than "cheating on your wife" count?
Yes, there could be other things that would fall into "not in subjection". Of course. Let me say up front, though, that I do not believe in "Patriarchy". The kind that Bill Gothard or others espouse where the husband pretty much comes off as a "General" to the wife (Corporal). "Follow me and do what I say", kind of approach. This is not biblical. We are "heirs together of the grace of life".
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
At what point does the Lord tell the women that "enough is enough and your husband won't be won". I don't believe He gave a time limit. The believing husband or wife must cultivate a relationship with the Lord. He said if the unbelieving husband or wife is pleased to dwell with him/her let him not put her away or her, put him away.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
If the husband leaves the wife, there is nothing she can do about it and God says they are not under bondage. The husband or wife left, they were not kicked out.
Next question:
I am also curious what your perception of adultery is. In other words, what you do consider adultery - does anything other than "cheating on your wife" count?
What about abuse - only physical?
Of course men and women can commit adultery in the heart. Men mostly and some women delve into porn. Is the automatic reflex to divorce them? I think not. Shouldn't ministry, forgiveness, repentance and restoration be the first alternative? Jesus did say to forgive 70x7 and you may not see the results you want the first time around. Most "addictions", really SINS, are repeat offenders.
Yes, on abuse, physical is not the only kind of abuse. I wrote my email quickly that night. There are some types of abuse that are far more damaging than physical abuse.
So, I am not giving a prescription regarding when to divorce or when to not divorce. I just don't like the knee-jerk reflex "to divorce" that I see today. Some people have become quite legalistic about this and each relationship has to be looked at with "fresh eyes". I think the first thing that should be considered is restoration to the Lord and then to each other. If each person is restored to the Lord then the rest will fall into place and yet I don't want to oversimplify what is always a complicated issue.
For two people that are Christians, the bottom line is that one or both are in disobedience to the Lord. If one is a Christian and the other is not, then it is different as the Scriptures indicate.
My father was verbally and emotionally abusive and the effect of it is still seen in my sister's lives and their broken marriages and relationships. My mother almost divorced him, but considered that she would lose too much financially. My folks were not Christians, either.
Anyway, just to let you know that I know the damage of verbal and mental abuse. I was a recipient of it, also, especially being the oldest. I took the brunt of it. Fortunately, the Lord saved me and made me a new creature. God gave me a lot of grace to forgive him. I was forgiven of much.
Luk 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
I may be wrong on some of this. I am not a "Marriage Counselor", but neither do I believe there are "pat" answers for relationships.
RE: Raising Boys! - Vic - 08-04-2009 03:32 PM
(08-04-2009 12:17 PM)Mark Wrote: Hi,
If I may interject some of what I am experiencing in my marriage, maybe it will shed some light on this issue.
In a previous post, I stated that tithing was an issue in our home. We cannot afford for my wife to be giving the church 10% of her gross income. However, the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing). Are they right? If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? I know this has gotten off the topic of rasing boys and I apologize. I won't post anymore on this because it is a sensitive subject and I end up feeling more confused afterwards. Thanks though. I appreciate all of your posts. I'll try to get back to the raising boys later on.
[/quote]
Mark, as you are experiencing, it's going to get messy, because you are dealing with hardcore beliefs that don't allow for you to have a separate belief.
>>the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing).>>
There is NO such scripture which states that the woman is not under subjection of her own husband when it comes to giving the money to the church/pastor/elders, or for any other made up reason.
There is no scripture that gives the exception, Mark. They are inventing that concept to keep their beliefs intact. A woman is not under subjection to any other man but her own husband.
Let me say that again.
A woman is only under submission/subjection to her OWN husband.
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
I am not talking about the brotherly submitting one to another. You made your vows to each other before God. She didn't marry the pastor or the elders--and what is the key ingredient in those vows---let no man put asunder, by God's command.. Let no man come between husband and wife. Let no man destroy the integrity of your marriage. No man is to divide you two---over any issue.
Matthew 19:5-6 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
That's what the Bible says about you and your wife being united--you are one flesh. No one has the authority to separate you two, on finances, on obedience to the Scripture---anything.
>>Are they right? >>>
No they are not right.
They are violating your marriage for the sake of money.
>>>If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?>>
No you are not being disobedient by not tithing. Especially since we are not under the law or the tithe. Secondly, they have no right to interfere in your marriage, in your decisions as a 'couple', nor do they have the right to undermine your position as head of your family. It is so grossly wrong. Being in a church building does not make one belong to Christ.
Giving counsel is one thing, but insisting on the course of action they have with your wife, has fully divided your family. And that is so contrary to Scripture they need a good smack.
>>>You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? >>>
I believe you have been learning a lot about the Scriptures, about who Christ is, and about living for Him. You know the error that your wife is in, and is holding your boys in it.
You are first accountable to Christ, Mark. You must live according to the Scriptures concerning your role as a believer, a husband and father. The road you are on isn't an easy. She believes you are at fault. Test what she believes and is doing and what you believe and are doing to the Scriptures. That's our standard Mark.
Let's look at some other Scriptures, which they are probably using:
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
What do these tell you?
RE: Raising Boys! - heb13-13 - 08-04-2009 04:58 PM
(08-04-2009 03:32 PM)Vic Wrote:(08-04-2009 12:17 PM)Mark Wrote: Hi,
If I may interject some of what I am experiencing in my marriage, maybe it will shed some light on this issue.
In a previous post, I stated that tithing was an issue in our home. We cannot afford for my wife to be giving the church 10% of her gross income. However, the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing). Are they right? If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? I know this has gotten off the topic of rasing boys and I apologize. I won't post anymore on this because it is a sensitive subject and I end up feeling more confused afterwards. Thanks though. I appreciate all of your posts. I'll try to get back to the raising boys later on.
Mark, as you are experiencing, it's going to get messy, because you are dealing with hardcore beliefs that don't allow for you to have a separate belief.
>>the church has made it clear to her that she is not under my authority as a husband in this matter because it goes against the Word of God (as far as their beliefs on what it says about tithing).>>
There is NO such scripture which states that the woman is not under subjection of her own husband when it comes to giving the money to the church/pastor/elders, or for any other made up reason.
There is no scripture that gives the exception, Mark. They are inventing that concept to keep their beliefs intact. A woman is not under subjection to any other man but her own husband.
Let me say that again.
A woman is only under submission/subjection to her OWN husband.
1Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
I am not talking about the brotherly submitting one to another. You made your vows to each other before God. She didn't marry the pastor or the elders--and what is the key ingredient in those vows---let no man put asunder, by God's command.. Let no man come between husband and wife. Let no man destroy the integrity of your marriage. No man is to divide you two---over any issue.
Matthew 19:5-6 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
That's what the Bible says about you and your wife being united--you are one flesh. No one has the authority to separate you two, on finances, on obedience to the Scripture---anything.
>>Are they right? >>>
No they are not right.
They are violating your marriage for the sake of money.
>>>If not, how do I handle it in our marriage if she is following their teachings? Do you see where I am coming from? Am I wrong to want her to stop tithing because of what I now know even though I am not attending a church? Is this where 1 Peter 3:1 comes into play for me? Am I being the disobedient one?>>
No you are not being disobedient by not tithing. Especially since we are not under the law or the tithe. Secondly, they have no right to interfere in your marriage, in your decisions as a 'couple', nor do they have the right to undermine your position as head of your family. It is so grossly wrong. Being in a church building does not make one belong to Christ.
Giving counsel is one thing, but insisting on the course of action they have with your wife, has fully divided your family. And that is so contrary to Scripture they need a good smack.
>>>You see, I am very confused on some of the scriptures and my role as the husband. It doesn't help that her church refutes anything to do with it when it is a matter of my not agreeing with what they teach on subjects like this. I even heard a story from a pastor that told of a woman that was encouraged to leave her husband because he did not want her attending the church. Where is the line drawn? Do I just continue on as I am? >>>
I believe you have been learning a lot about the Scriptures, about who Christ is, and about living for Him. You know the error that your wife is in, and is holding your boys in it.
You are first accountable to Christ, Mark. You must live according to the Scriptures concerning your role as a believer, a husband and father. The road you are on isn't an easy. She believes you are at fault. Test what she believes and is doing and what you believe and are doing to the Scriptures. That's our standard Mark.
Let's look at some other Scriptures, which they are probably using:
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
What do these tell you?
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That's right on, Vic!
Mark you should pray about confronting the Leadership on that basis. The basis that they are interfering with your marriage. They are coming between you and your wife. That is absolutely demonic and they should be confronted with that.
I guarantee they cannot justify it by any scriptures. Go armed with the Word of God and tell them to leave your wife alone.