Tithing

[Mark]

Hi Vic,

Sorry about the mix up who responded to my post. You are correct that I am familiar with the verses you mention regarding the place of the husband and wife. This is something that our marriage hasdealt with since the beginning. My wife is very independent and has always had a control issue. We have had many discussions and even the former pastor (whom I had mention previously) and his wife spoke to her in detail about the role of the wife. Believe me when I say that I am not looking to be the dominant husband who needs to give her permission for everything. We had an issue regarding thithes during one of our financial lows. I asked her to hold off until some bills got taken care of. She told me she couldn't and the pastor backed her of course. I brought up several scriptures, but they were "misinterpreted" by me of course and I had "taken them out of context".
Even though the Oneness Pentecostals don't believe in divorcing, I ahve heard enough discussion to realize that they would rather a woman leave her husband if it will prevent her from tithing. That does not sound scriptural to me. My wife and I made a vow that divorce would never be an option in our marriage and we have kept that vow.
I do feel somewhat trapped in our marriage. It is either the Oneness way or no way with my wife. She will not budge. There has been no youth group for 3 years now because our children are the only 2 there. I asked if I could take them elsewhere just for the sake of keeping them close to kids their age regardless of what denomination (within reason of course) but ahve been denied. They are spiritually suffering too and our oldest (14) is putting up quite a fuss about continuing to go to church because there has been nothing there to reach him at his level. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the youngest (11) follows suit.
Again, my wife is firm and will not budge unless it's another Oneness church that they go to.
So, to summarize, yes, I feel that I am not in the role of husband that God has planned me to be and it is mostly due to the fact that I do not agree with the Oneness doctrine and therefore, as my wife tells me, I have denied the truth. So, I jsut continue to pray and ask God to help me. Yours prayers are much appreciated. I thank God (and you!) for this website. It really helps to be able to talk about these things.

God Bless,

Mark

(02-17-2009 09:10 PM)Vic Wrote:  

Quote:Vic,

Thanks again! I am feeling very encouraged and have printed out the tithing studies to read and learn. Yes, I will have my Bible open as well!
May I ask what church you currently attend? I need to find one, not for my own beliefs, but mostly where God wants me to be. I'm not looking for easy beliefism, just somwhere that I can really pour myself into and know that I am serving God the way I should be. Again, thank you for your encouragement.

God Bless,

Mark

Hi Mark I think you may have mixed up who wrote the last post to you. Sheep Wrecked mentioned about having been in the pentecostal beliefs.

I am glad you are encouraged and we will pray for you and your family. We are in between churches at this time. It is very difficult to find one that doesn't promote the things like Alpha course, Purpose driven, the Passion, etc. We attended one recently, and while the fellowship was nice, I felt compromised because of the various programs. It's kind of hard to explain, but even though many were sincere in living for Christ, we saw many of those things they said they were against, were being promoted. :what:

I think I just confused myself.

I think we are at the point of being comfortable not having to seek out a church, but rather knowing this is our ministry and fellowshipping this way and then through personal contact and as outreach. Maybe that is part of what it is to be equipped and doing what we are supposed to do in obedience to Christ in our lives. I don't think it is for everyone, but, until/unless we find a fellowship where things are not compromised I doubt we will be able to call one home. We keep looking as time allows, but it is no longer with a sense of urgency, but rather, waiting for God to show and prompt us to be where we are supposed to be and when.

I think the issue of spiritual things can divide a home and it really shouldn't. Even IF you were lost, a wife's role is to support and show by example and prayer the way to Christ.

1 Corinthians 7:12-17 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17. But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

In this instance, if I am understanding what you have said, you allow your wife to take the car to go to your old church and that hinders you from seeking another church home.

Mark, the role of the husband is as head of the home, just as Christ is head of the church. You are probably very familiar with these passages.

Ephesians 5:19-29 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20. Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Just some thoughts as I think about your situation and what we understand in our home. Taking spiritual leadership doesn't mean hammering your beliefs into your family but taking the God-given leadership and showing by example, and taking the steps necessary to help your family grow in Christ. I am speaking as a woman here and see things from that perspective. Perhaps a compromise needs to be made where you take your children and ask your wife to accompany you in search of a new church home and allow her to have alternate Sundays if she is so inclined, until you know where God would have you. :3942:

Just some ideas, because sometimes it is hard to see things when deeply involved, and with seeking answers we can miss things. You probably have already thought of that anyway.

If you are seeing the error of the pentecostal oneness beliefs then much prayer and study --even with your wife--is a must in order to allow God to give understanding through the Scriptures. it is not about what someone has taught you or your wife. It is fully about what the Scriptures hold and the Holy Spirit can and will teach you and give you understanding on. Everything we believe must stand the test of Scripture. I think you likely know these things and these Scriptures.

1Jn 2:27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

Earnestly seeking Him, His will, and studying the Scriptures and much prayer is what will reveal all that you need to know in order to serve Christ with your whole being. He just wants a willing heart. He will do the rest. Blessings to you and your family as you seek His most perfect will for your lives.

Php 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 4:9-16 There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. 10. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. 11. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. 12. For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 13. Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do. 14. Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. 15. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. 16. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.