Tithing

[sheep wrecked]

(02-18-2009 01:32 PM)Mark Wrote:  Hi Vic,

Sorry about the mix up who responded to my post. You are correct that I am familiar with the verses you mention regarding the place of the husband and wife. This is something that our marriage hasdealt with since the beginning. My wife is very independent and has always had a control issue. We have had many discussions and even the former pastor (whom I had mention previously) and his wife spoke to her in detail about the role of the wife. Believe me when I say that I am not looking to be the dominant husband who needs to give her permission for everything. We had an issue regarding thithes during one of our financial lows. I asked her to hold off until some bills got taken care of. She told me she couldn't and the pastor backed her of course. I brought up several scriptures, but they were "misinterpreted" by me of course and I had "taken them out of context".
Even though the Oneness Pentecostals don't believe in divorcing, I ahve heard enough discussion to realize that they would rather a woman leave her husband if it will prevent her from tithing. That does not sound scriptural to me. My wife and I made a vow that divorce would never be an option in our marriage and we have kept that vow.
I do feel somewhat trapped in our marriage. It is either the Oneness way or no way with my wife. She will not budge. There has been no youth group for 3 years now because our children are the only 2 there. I asked if I could take them elsewhere just for the sake of keeping them close to kids their age regardless of what denomination (within reason of course) but ahve been denied. They are spiritually suffering too and our oldest (14) is putting up quite a fuss about continuing to go to church because there has been nothing there to reach him at his level. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the youngest (11) follows suit.
Again, my wife is firm and will not budge unless it's another Oneness church that they go to.
So, to summarize, yes, I feel that I am not in the role of husband that God has planned me to be and it is mostly due to the fact that I do not agree with the Oneness doctrine and therefore, as my wife tells me, I have denied the truth. So, I jsut continue to pray and ask God to help me. Yours prayers are much appreciated. I thank God (and you!) for this website. It really helps to be able to talk about these things.

God Bless,

Mark

Mark, my heart goes out to you. I was once in the same position, except I was the wife that pushed my husband into following after what I believe. I also accepted the doctrine that I must tithe above everything else, and it almost caused financial ruin. There was nothing my husband could say that would change my mind. I truly believed that if I didn't tithe, I was in major disobedience to God.

Back in those days, I was under extreme delusion and believed everything I was told. I read and studied from the pentecostal viewpoint and truly accepted that as the total truth, thinking I had been deceived by my former denomination. The pentecostal system puts extreme pressure on adherents - if you don't believe those doctrines you are doomed aka not saved - it can be pushed as an underlying threat or expounded straightforwardly from the pulpit. I believe that your wife probably believes that she needs to keep the kids in line, and by doing so, you will follow along and this all leads to keeping her family in truth so that they are not lost [there is also the feeling of great fear which causes a bit of paranoia that my family would fall away from truth - at least that is how I felt at the time].

It's difficult to approach this delusion because it feels so right and so many others accept it as truth. For me, I began to research deeply into the beliefs and the origins of the pentecostal system and that's when God began to take off the blinders. It was then that His Word became more clear and I could see that it was the pentecostal system that had changed what His Word said. So I encourage you to keep pursuing God's Word for truth.

The Seek God site is full of information on the origins of the pentecostal and charismatic denomination. It's a lot of reading, but it really helped me get a grasp. The fact that many of the doctrines within that whole system are based in error because of their claim of who Jesus is, rooted out the falseness for me. Please keep praying for God's truth. And stick around, cause we would love to help. We are putting our heads together to give you some solid Biblical assistance - stay tuned .........