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Funny Church Bulletin Announcements

sheep wrecked

Compulsive Poster


This is a list of funny announcements from church bulletins:

1. Don’t let worry kill you -- let the church help.

2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

3. This being Easter Sunday, we ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

4. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell?" Come early, and listen to our choir practice.

5. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."

6. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

7. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

8. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

11. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.

12. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

13. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

14. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

15. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

16. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

17. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. - prayer and medication to follow.

18. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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