How do you find a Biblical spouse?

[YYZ Skinhead]

So I am pushing 40 and have never had a boyfriend, partially because I am agoraphobic with a vengeance. I want to get married eventually, to a gorgeous artistic Canadian man (named Neil) who is like the guys described in 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5 and The Song of Songs. I used to think that the Bible was sexist and that God "had it in" for women because the husband is the spiritual head of the wife, but I finally realized that marriage is a type of Christ's Marriage to the Church, and Jesus was ALWAYS gentle with women and girls and was obviously willing to die for us. (I wonder if people who think the Bible is anti-pleasure, know how often in the Bible God tells married people to have sex.) I have no idea where to find a man like this, or what I must do to make myself noticeable to him.

[Vic]

(05-12-2009 05:30 PM)YYZ Skinhead Wrote:  So I am pushing 40 and have never had a boyfriend, partially because I am agoraphobic with a vengeance. I want to get married eventually, to a gorgeous artistic Canadian man (named Neil) who is like the guys described in 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5 and The Song of Songs. I used to think that the Bible was sexist and that God "had it in" for women because the husband is the spiritual head of the wife, but I finally realized that marriage is a type of Christ's Marriage to the Church, and Jesus was ALWAYS gentle with women and girls and was obviously willing to die for us. (I wonder if people who think the Bible is anti-pleasure, know how often in the Bible God tells married people to have sex.) I have no idea where to find a man like this, or what I must do to make myself noticeable to him.

You always ask the thinker questions, LM.

I do believe that in order to have a Biblical spouse, you must first ask God to prepare you for the person He is preparing for you. Then you need to pray that God will indeed not only prepare that person, but will do it in His timing for His purposes. If a person is to have a life's partner, it fully is contingent on that being God's will for that person.

I think sometimes we consider what we might want as an answer to our prayer, but we need to ask that God's will be done in our lives, for His honor and His glory. If God is preparing a man for you, you need to pray that He will give you both a solid foundation of resting in Christ and living for Him. And, that He will move you both to where He wants you, both physically and spiritually, so you are ready, if and when that day comes when you are to meet.

Many rush ahead of God and manipulate circumstances and such, so they meet someone--anyone--because of loneliness. But that isn't resting in Him. He wants the very best for each of us. But that doesn't mean it will be what we think is best. So wait on Him. He knows every need you have, and what you need will always be taken care of by Him.

1 John 5:14-15 And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: 15. And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

[Princess of Heaven]

i was married for almost 15 yrs had 5 kids with him, been divorced since 95, thats 14 yrs, was engaged once, but God save me from that mess....been completely single for 6 half years now.

I told my brother the other nite i didnt think i would ever get married again and he told me you never know what God has planned, i told him well God will have to throw him in my face, cuz im not looking lol it just really hasnt been focus for many years now, i spent several years hoping for the x finace to return, but God said nope, hes not the one..... and i knew he wasnt,, but i was hoping he would change and be Godly. ahahaah..... so i have been spending time with my first love and being in awe of God... amen

[LindaR]

(05-12-2009 05:30 PM)YYZ Skinhead Wrote:  So I am pushing 40 and have never had a boyfriend, partially because I am agoraphobic with a vengeance. I want to get married eventually, to a gorgeous artistic Canadian man (named Neil) who is like the guys described in 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5 and The Song of Songs. I used to think that the Bible was sexist and that God "had it in" for women because the husband is the spiritual head of the wife, but I finally realized that marriage is a type of Christ's Marriage to the Church, and Jesus was ALWAYS gentle with women and girls and was obviously willing to die for us. (I wonder if people who think the Bible is anti-pleasure, know how often in the Bible God tells married people to have sex.) I have no idea where to find a man like this, or what I must do to make myself noticeable to him.

To make a long story short...if I can...I believe in my heart of hearts that God will bring the man which He has chosen to you. I was married and divorced, re-married and widowed, and after that second marriage, I said I would NEVER remarry. I learned NEVER to say NEVER! I am now remarried (3rd husband). We met on the internet....but the weird part is that neither of us was even looking for a spouse. We sort of had a "Yenta" (the matchmaker on Fiddler on the Roof) that sort of was working on the both of us...but we still weren't biting.

To sum up this short story...."Yenta" kept on working on us...but it was the Lord Who opened the door. The Bible verses which "turned the key" was Genesis 2:22-24:

And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:22-24)

God brought the woman to the man....the man (Adam) wasn't out looking for the woman and God didn't send the woman (Eve) out to seek the man. God was in control of the entire union. My advice would be to pray that God would "prepare that man" He has just for you...leave it in God's hands.....and NEVER say NEVER!

[Strefanash]

I am 50 years old, never married, no children. The fact is I have lost hope of ever finding anyone. But it seems that the truth of the matter is as St Paul said "If you are married do not seek to be unmarried, if unmarried do not seek to be married" INO we are to do nothing, rather to rest in the Lord whereby we become spiritual enough to live in the close proximity to another sinner that marriage entails.

But even then, though both my parents are now dead (father died last month) I have never left them emotionally where by I am fit to cleave to a wife. So i am not ready.

To complicate the picture I am eccentric, a musician who hates the music trade, a scholarly type who is obsessed with truth and logic, a vulcan without the ears (!); an artistic type who prefers walks in gardens most everything else, and a relentless rationalist who is also a mystic. I doubt any woman would ever be interested in someone as strange as I am

---

But to sek to find happiness in a spouse is a disastrous error. TWo unhapopy people marrying each other to find happiness will likely drag each other down and grow to hate each other for the other is not meeting his or her need.

A happy person may seek to share his happiness with an other, but it is folly to seek to find it in an other.

Except that the other be God . To be happy in Him, for the fruit of the Spirit is Joy, is to have something to share and thus to be qualified to share it with an other.

But not, in my opinion, before

[sheep wrecked]

I hope I don't sound weird here, but not everyone is destined by God to have a spouse. Under the new covenant, I believe there is a change in that God has chosen *some* men and women to remain single for the cause of the Gospel.

Jesus spoke of this as well as Paul.

Mat 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

1Co 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man has his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
1Co 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
1Co 7:17 But as God has distributed to every man, as the Lord has called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
1Co 7:23 You are bought with a price; be not you the servants of men.
1Co 7:24 Brothers, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
1Co 7:27 Are you bound to a wife? seek not to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
1Co 7:32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
1Co 7:33 But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
1Co 7:35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare on you, but for that which is comely, and that you may attend on the Lord without distraction.


I was also married - for 32 years - and then divorced. It is not an option for me to remarry - there is no reason for it, no desire for it, and I truly believe that being single is God's will for the rest of my life for the same reasons that Paul has stated.