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The following is a testimony of God's saving grace. It is the story of a lady who has become a dear friend in the Lord. Her fervency and desire to be obedient to the Lord is an example to all.

Jesus: The Way, The Truth and The Life

Jesus saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." John 14:26

I have been very ill for the past several days. It has left me weakened, with occasional continued upset. It is, however, a great relief to be feeling even a little better, even though I'm not back to "normal." This feeling of relief reminds me of how I was "sick" for so many years before I received Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I'm so relieved! And grateful!

These thoughts brought me to review my walk with our Lord Jesus Christ. I thought about how I was convicted of my sins after I asked Jesus into my heart. It's interesting to me that I wasn't convicted of sin before I accepted Jesus. When I first received Him, I only knew that I needed Him and prayed for His redemption. But after that heart-felt prayer, I began to experience wave after wave of knowledge of my filthiness in the presence of a Holy God. How many times have I since fallen on my knees before Him in heavy sorrow and how by His Grace I was lifted up. He has worked in my heart, mind and soul to be transformed into someone very different than I used to be. I love what I used to hate and hate what I used to love.

Oh, what I used to love! I used to feel so free in my sin! I was a practicing psychic…

I learned how to alter my conscience when I was about 21 years old. I sat at the feet of a dear friend, whose father taught her. She, in turn, taught me. I learned how to listen to "thought forms" (sounds so innocent) via a spirit "entity." At first I was excited to learn things that not many others knew. I learned about another world, a spirit world that has all knowledge, and spirit guides that help humans as part of their evolution to higher states. These spirits tell us things we need to know and teach us and guide us as to what decisions to make. I quickly learned to alter my conscience to a level that allowed me to relax, and to "know" things for others as well. I began to do "readings" for people. I was clairvoyant (able to "receive" mental pictures). I had a lot of fun with those pictures - they were usually right - but never 100%.

A point I want to make about these experiences is that things were going along pretty well, as I learned and grew in my psychic work, giving me encouragement to continue. I felt like I was in control, indeed had been taught that I was in control and that the spirits, being very concerned to do good, would never lie to me nor take me to any levels I didn't desire to be.

That was a lie. Certainly, I was supposed to believe that these spirits were the possessors of all truth, who were willing to help humans learn that truth. If it was truth, why wasn't I always a hundred percent correct? I was given to believe, too that I would always be in control of what happened; that the spirits would never overstep the bounds I set. I needed to be in control of my life and things around me. Why did I lose control of those spirits?

A few years into these works, I began to hear voices. I was told that it meant I was becoming clairaudient. It was kind of like hearing voices in a room next to you that were muffled, yet clearly voices of men and women. I was supposed to have been happy to have yet another level of gain, but I wasn't happy at all. I was scared. The voices were confusing and derisive - I had no control over when I heard them, or what was said. I don't remember ever hearing anything that was cognizant, just that they were hateful. I couldn't get them out of my head, and that meant I wasn't in control.

That is the truth about those spirits.

It was very difficult to get away from them. The only way I could rid myself of them was to rid myself of the "spirit guide" that had attached itself to me. I am so grateful now that I was able to do so. I completely quit listening to the guide and refused to invoke it. Looking back, I know it was God's grace that allowed me to leave that part of the work behind and no longer be tormented by those spirits. But, I did continue to believe in new age things, among others.

I was searching for God all that time (over 20 years). The psychic work was also a search for God. I became a Mormon, left Mormonism, investigated Jehovah's Witnesses, read about other famous psychics, read about the "white brotherhood" which is a form of Kabbalism I believe, investigated a Course in Miracles. All this time, I continued to dabble in psychic, doing readings on occasion, including psychic "healing," and Tarot card readings, as well as trying to work with crystals. I fooled myself into thinking that I was in control because I did not work directly with spirits. But, from whence came the information that was accurate? There was some - often coming at just the right time to keep my interest piqued. During those years, though, I was often depressed, even suicidal. I know now that Satan likes nothing better than to end a human's life. He hates us. We must never forget that. He will always lie and look as good as we need him to look, so that we will listen to and follow him. That's what I did until one day five years ago.

That day a friend asked me, "Who is Jesus to you?" Even though I was shaken at the question, I reached into my memory to answer, "He's a great teacher, an avatar, a good man, a prophet… an ascended master…" As I spoke, I heard the shallowness of my own words, also knew that those words weren't really what I believed about Jesus, but what I had heard or learned over the years of searching. I knew that there was something very wrong with what I was saying, but didn't understand what that was. What's important is that I knew that I didn't understand. I looked at my friend and said, "that's not right, is it?" She just smiled at me and shook her head, "no."

Before I became a psychic, I had read Hal Lindsey's "Late Great Planet Earth." I had wanted very much to be a part of the 144,000 who would be the purveyors of truth during the Great Tribulation, and prayed for Jesus to be my savior - that was 26 years ago. What I underwent after that was a lot of persecution from those around me. I didn't understand still Who Jesus really was, and was weak. I was like the seed sown in fallow ground. So, I told God that I couldn't follow Jesus just then, that maybe I could later. God gave me 21 years. But, He's faithful to forgive.

He did forgive me and I am eternally grateful. I suffered persecution again after I accepted Jesus five years ago. But, I was strengthened in knowing that I had indeed made the best possible decision for my life - I was strengthened in my weaknesses. When I faced opposition from friends and family, I prayed for His guidance and strength to get me through. The Holy Spirit was with me and gave me patience and words to speak when needed. As a result, two of my four children are now walking with Him as well as my husband. I pray continually for my other two children and know that they too will have the opportunity to know our Lord.

As I have gone over these things in my mind, I was reminded of these scriptures:

For we ourselves also were sometimes foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving divers lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful, and hating one another. But after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared, Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour; That being justified by his grace we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men." (Titus 3:3-8)

I was also reminded of how I was immediately transformed in many things. I threw away the tarot cards, the crystals, the books of fiction and new age thought that had become an abomination to me in the new understanding the Lord had given me. I mused about how the transformation, in understanding God by His word and the understanding by the Holy Spirit, is ongoing. "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ," (Phil 1:6 )

Our walk with Him is one of learning from Him, loving Him every day of our existence. When we become one with Christ, He is every breath we take. Our lives are no longer separate from His: "For God hath not appointed us to [His] wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, Who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him." (1 Thess 5:9-10) He teaches us in every moment, and when we are focused on Him we can see it. As Paul wrote, "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." (2 Cor 3:18)

Will I stand before our Father in heaven in my own righteousness? God forbid! I know I will not stand alone, but by His Grace, I will stand along side His Son, Jesus Christ on that day. It is by His shed blood that I am saved. This is the blessed hope: to one day see Him in His glory and to stand beside Him and hear Him say, "this one is mine." And, by His grace and enduring mercy, these words, "well done, good and faithful servant."

I was once the servant of demons, but now my desire is to be the servant of the Most High God. In the weeks following my being born again in Christ, I prayed that He would make me to be His servant. It's all I desired then, and all I desire now. To serve Him in all that I do. Whether I'm writing a note to a friend, or working with one of my children or grandchildren. If you are in Christ, you will desire only to serve Him, to be obedient by the prompting of the Holy Spirit Who resides in you. If you have in you the Holy Spirit, you also have Jesus the Son, and God the Father, for they are One. His Word, the Bible is your most precious possession - it must be written in your heart, mind and soul. By all these truths, you can then call to Abba Father, and have relationship in constant communication with the Creator of all things.

"If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you." John 15:7

Living in Jesus Christ, Brenda Powell

7-19-99

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