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Lying Destroys Trust and Relationships

 

Proverbs 14:5, 25

5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies...
25 A true witness delivereth souls: but a deceitful witness speaketh lies.

Proverbs 26:28

 A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.

 

Children often see parents lie, while they are told by them, "Don't Lie, Tell the Truth, or no one will believe you when you do actually tell the truth." In business and politics, lies are often expounded for the making of money, position and influence, and to hide corruption. In churches and religious groups, lies can be found as often and for the same reasons as in secular groups. Many in fact are intent on making 'merchandise of the saints' and 'fleecing the flock' by using lies. The Apostles Peter and Paul warned of those who would lie for this purpose.

2 Peter 2:1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.
2 And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.
3 And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

1 Timothy 4:1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron;

The meaning is clear. Speaking lies in hypocrisy> <pseudologos> from Strong's Concordance:

Lies > 5573. qeudologov pseudologos, psyoo-dol-og'-os > from 5571 and 3004; mendacious, i.e. promulgating erroneous Christian doctrine:--speaking lies.

See Greek 5571 (pseudes) >5571. qeudhv pseudes, psyoo-dace'  from 5574; untrue, i.e. erroneous, deceitful, wicked:--false, liar.

5574. qeudomai pseudomai, psyoo'-dom-ahee >middle voice of an apparently primary verb; to utter an untruth or attempt to deceive by falsehood:--falsely, lie.

hypocrisy <hupokrisis> 5272. upokrisiv hupokrisis, hoop-ok'-ree-sis from 5271; acting under a feigned part, i.e. (figuratively) deceit ("hypocrisy"):--condemnation, dissimulation, hypocrisy.

In fact, lying is so destructive that most religions address and rebuke it, and it is found as a 'problem' which is much discussed politically world wide. There is no group that is exempt from it's impact and most would admit they have been lied to by someone they know or follow, while having believed them to be an 'example of integrity and honesty.'

Many would agree that Lying has to be one of the most destructive and deliberate forms of manipulation there is. It destroys trust. It destroys friendships, families and relationships. It destroys credibility. It shows contempt, disrespect and/or hatred for others. In other words, it makes love for others a lie in that person's life. It can cause the person to avoid being held accountable to themselves or others. Eventually, particularly when in a position of trust, it makes it impossible for a person to be believed or trusted by others and is clearly spiritually self destructive.

In the definition of lying or to lie, aside from outright untruths or fabrication of information, it would include exaggeration, and 'little white lies', of which there is no such thing, and deliberately withholding facts or beliefs so that others will draw wrong conclusions about who a person or subject is about so that the perpetrator of the lie benefits, often financially. Deliberately omitting or changing information is not the same as forgetting information as we all retain certain things and forget certain things. Nor can using wisdom in sharing information be condemned, as the Scriptures are clear on that as well.

Matthew 10:16 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

Proverbs 14:33 Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but that which is in the midst of fools is made known.

Most would agree that lying is more often than not used to manipulate the feelings, thoughts and actions of others in order to benefit the person doing the lying. People make all manner of excuses for sin but the reality is, there is no excuse for lying. If one is tempted and succumbs to lie, it needs to be dealt with as sin, and confessed and repented of. For more on rationalizing sin, please see; Excuses for Sin.

Probably, from a spiritual perspective, the lying that is the most manipulative of others is to make claims to believe some doctrine or fact or to manufacture information, when in fact, the person's beliefs or actions are contrary to what they state. Many lie to cover their own inadequacies or ego, or to be accepted by others in some way. They do so by having determined to deliberately deceive the group,  individuals or friends, because they want to be part of the group for fellowship or other purposes. The end result is that the lie invariably is shown and without repentance or admission of the deception, one comes to believe that the person is totally untrustworthy. Many in fact would question if the person had ever spoken the truth to them about any aspect of their lives or beliefs.

Many lie about their beliefs because they have rejected or overturned the Scriptures that would show their error, while claiming to advocate or believe the Truth of the Word of God. Even upon being revealed as deceptive or upon rebuke, the rejection of that Truth is clear. The Scriptures are clear:

Isaiah 5:20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Titus 3:10 A man that is an heretic after the first and second admonition reject;
11 Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself.

Robin McKie, in a Guardian article in the UK, stated the end result as being, Lying destroys trust, and said:

"The real problem is that a person who tells too many lies is clearly untrustworthy. We have no confidence that we can have a relationship, no matter how distant, with that person. There are no trustworthy rules or guidelines for dealing with them." [Robin McKie, Observer, Sunday March 12, 2000 www.guardian.co.uk/Archive/Article/0,4273,3973046,00.html]

From a personal perspective, this writer has seen the end result of those that have been lied to by some who have claimed to be of Christ and while claiming friendship. Lying simply does make the pursuing of a relationship impossible because the question is always there, 'is this another lie,' or 'is it real or true,' especially when dealing with beliefs and Biblical Truth.

Trust once broken, especially when dealing with the deliberate hiding of un-Scriptural beliefs, is very difficult to set aside, even when forgiving the person. Especially when the individuals have been shown that what is being done is wrong according to the Scriptures and their subsequent actions and words concerning it, is sin or rejection of Biblical Truth by Biblical standards. When there is no acknowledgement or repentance of the lie or lies nor admission to the rejection of Scriptural Truth then the relationship is invariably closed or distanced, until things are dealt with appropriately.

Friendship betrayed through lies and deception is rarely brought back to a deep level of trust again, although caring for one another is not lost. That is not to say it cannot be restored over time, but it can take a long time to prove one is honest in spiritual matters and can be trusted with one's friendship. We are to prove all things and not blindly trust simply because someone states they are being straight with us, after they have deliberately misled and lied, regardless the arena of deception. In saying that, it must also be said, Christ is able to deal with these things when we are not.

Leadership or associates that have been shown to have lied, deliberately misled or fabricated information or have hidden their beliefs or behaviors to gain an audience, money, friendship, even upon a declared repentance, could never be fully trusted again in many people's minds. Not because they cannot be forgiven, but because, by their very own deceptive words they have deliberately misled people for gain in some way, while being in a place of influence or control and trust in another person's life. The lies have fully broken their trustworthiness, and saying they can now be trusted is not the same as being able to trust them. True Biblical repentance would likely have those in leadership remove themselves from any position of authority, because of the very necessary Biblical qualifications for being placed in leadership in the first place. Leadership must prove they are indeed trustworthy, honest and sound in the faith, which would of necessity take more than a little time to prove, especially for those who have betrayed trust through lies and deception.

1 Timothy 3:7 Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
8 Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; 

It might be suggested that the person giving the lies about their beliefs, really doesn't know what they believe themselves, because deception about who they are and what they believe have become so much a part of their persona. Or they recognize that their beliefs are contrary to Biblical Truth and sound doctrine, but are not willing to repent of them. Some would go so far as to believe that they are actually exempt from various aspects of Biblical Truth, because of God's 'special call' on their lives, or because of, in the case of some leaders, their deliberate changing of the Word of God to suit their purposes. That is not what God's people are called to.

2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; 2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
3 But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:
4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

The bottom line is that lies and deception are deliberate. They are a choice people make. The end result is that it causes the loss of much, including trust, which is never easily won back, even when forgiveness is desired and obtained.

 

Truth, Honesty and Freedom

 

Broken trust can take a lifetime to repair, because a person's word is the stamp of who they are, from the inside out.

Jesus said that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, which means if a person lies about who they are or their beliefs, or fabricates information for gain in some way, that is merely showing who they really are.

Luke 6:45 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. [Mt 12:34-35]

Jesus said that lies come from the 'father of lies'.

John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Some would go so far as to say that God wanted them to lie and deceive others for a particular 'beneficial' end result. That thinking makes God a liar. God does not lie nor lead into temptation or into false doctrine, or call us to deliberately declare false doctrine as truth. That is not His Spirit that does that.

1 John 2:21 I have not written unto you because ye know not the truth, but because ye know it, and that no lie is of the truth....27 But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.

Titus 1:1 Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness;
2 In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began;

James 1:13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: 14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. 16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.

To imply or boldly state that God would want a person to lie and deceive, manufacture information or be in deception in His Name is an indication of not knowing who God is and what He is about, nor what He calls His children to.

James 3:12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.

Matthew 7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

Proverbs 14: 5 A faithful witness will not lie: but a false witness will utter lies. 6 A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth. 7 Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge. 8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit. 9 Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.

1 Corinthians 13: 4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Those who love the Lord Jesus Christ have put on the new man and are called to holiness and honesty, not lies.

Ephesians 4:20 But ye have not so learned Christ; 21 If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;
23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another...29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

Ephesians 6:13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;
10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Every person who belongs to Jesus Christ makes the choice of obedience to do what God calls them to do.

Ezekiel 3:21 Nevertheless if thou warn the righteous man, that the righteous sin not, and he doth not sin, he shall surely live, because he is warned; also thou hast delivered thy soul. 

Romans 5: 21 That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord. 6:1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? 2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

Jesus said IF we love Him we will keep His commandments. We don't prove our love by lying, deceiving others and deliberately sinning:

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Ephesians 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) 10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. .... 15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.

In fact, we are told that people who do not love the Truth, will be given strong delusion by God Himself, and they will believe a lie to their own destruction. Truth is no longer an option for them.

2 Thessalonians 2:8 And then shall that Wicked be revealed, whom the Lord shall consume with the spirit of his mouth, and shall destroy with the brightness of his coming: 9 Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, 10 And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. 11 And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: 12 That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

God reminds us of the rewards of abiding in His Truth, and the consequences for those who do not.

Psalms 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish..."
4:3 But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him. 4 Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. 5 Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the LORD. ...5:4 For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee. 5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity..."

Revelation 21:27 And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Revelation 22:14 Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the gates into the city.
15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
16 I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David, and the bright and morning star.

God calls us to a change in our lives because of Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit changes us to reflect Christ more and more. We're to use sound judgment and temperance, self control and honesty, based on the Word of God.  Every thought is to come into obedience to Him. We are to be honest and not lie. And when we err, we are to repent and get out of the falsehood or wrong choices we may have embraced. We all sin or make wrong choices, but it is what we do when we know we have sinned that really is the measure of our spiritual condition. That then can show our obedience or disobedience to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and to God's Word.

Luke 8:15 But that on the good ground are they, which in an honest and good heart, having heard the word, keep it, and bring forth fruit with patience.

2 Corinthians 8:21 Providing for honest things, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

True freedom from sin and lies is found in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ:

2 Timothy 2:25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

 

 

All Scripture from King James Bible

Copyright . All articles are the sole property of SeekGod.ca and Vicky Dillen. All Scripture King James Version unless otherwise stated.

 

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